Getting older sucks, it really does but not for the obvious reasons. While grey hair, lines and wrinkles, changes in our skin, hair, memory, vision and hearing are not pleasant and not something we want to talk about or bring focus and attention to, what really sucks is something far greater. It is losing the ones we love as we get older, losing those who came before us and paved the road for us. They were the grown-ups, strong, capable, wise and protective.

They were/are the grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles who took care of us.

I have a prayer that I began to do at a very young age, it started with praying that I never lose my grandparents. As my grandparents passed away, I kept them in my prayers, remembering them and finding peace in my gratitude for having them in my life for as long as I did. I named them “remembrance prayers”.

I felt the biggest loss when my strongest pillar came crashing down after my Mother passed away. Something in my energy shifted when I lost her. She was my protection, my navigation, my mentor and teacher and I suddenly found myself being on my own. Since then I have felt that I need to make good decisions, use good judgment, try to do what she would have done in any particular situation.

From that point, my remembrance prayers only got longer as I lost more family members. I imagine these losses leaving tiny tears in our heart and each loss and painful experience will continue to leave its mark on our heart, till it makes a forever tear causing this delicate organ to stop working.

May we always have the ability to give and receive love unconditionally and endlessly, keeping our heart strong regardless of the pain it feels as we lose those who are dear to us.